Upon seeing the trailer for the new Jude Law film, Repo Men, I have to admit I was pretty psyched. A guy in the near distant future, working as a repo man to rip out people's organs when they haven't made the payments? Fodder for controversy in light of Health Care Reform lately right? Wrong. While the film did lightly touch on this issue, it was nowhere near the theme of the movie at all. It got me thinking mid movie about how we are already dealing with this is some ways. People left to die with pre-existing conditions because they cannot pay or people going bankrupt with medical debt were things that came to mind.
But I never had time to process that because the movie moved onto different things, unorganized things. Jude Law is in an accident, they give him a fake heart to live, he is upset and now he is mentally unstable. He can no longer perform the repo duties he once did and therefore cannot afford the payments on his new heart. The hunter is now being hunted and by his best friend Forest Whitaker. Although Jude Law has a wife and son, I didn't feel like he cared for them at all. I thought he would protect them at some point later on in the film when the Repo Men came for his own heart. Nope. The fact that he nearly died doesn't faze his wife at all when she kicks him and his metal heart out on the curb, refusing to let him see his son.
And when I thought the movie was going to go into super kick butt action mode, it slowed down completely. About an hour's worth of unnecessary footage with this random chick they introduced mid film and at complete random. If this stupid new girlfriend wasn't annoying enough, her entire character was inconsistent and disorganized. Although she was lower class, super poor and her first kidney transplants were past due, she somehow managed to be approved for eight other transplants. Some of the organs the screenwriters tried to write off by saying they were black market or different crappy brands of fake organs, but still? Who wanted to invest in an already bankrupt person? Not only that, she had bad kidneys which is believable, but she was maybe age thirty tops. And somehow she had bad eyes, ears, knees and a laundry list of other bum organs. How does a young person's body fall apart? They never explained this AT ALL.
Because she is a singer, I thought for sure her only original organ intact and real would be her vocal cords, but nope, those were fake as well and from the very beginning. So that sultry voice Jude Law fell in love with at the bar was a lie. Later on, when Jude Law busted into corporate headquarters and had the boss under lock down, I thought for sure he was going to put a fake heart in the guy and make him totally screwed. This way the boss would understand the plight and clear Jude's account. Nope. I thought maybe Jude would break into the supply closet, take a different heart and have some witch doctor in the ghetto switch them out so he would be free and clear. Nope.
None of the things I wanted to happen or thought might happen or would be really cool to happen EVER actually happened. None. Nil. Zip. Zilch. Nada. To close out this miserable mess of jumbled crap, the ending brought a very indulgent surgery scene in which Jude and stupid girlfriend are writhing around bleeding on a table ripping each others organs out. Classic. Thanks a bunch movie guys, you turned a possibly awesome movie, with a decent cast into pure crap. It was the redhead step child of Minority Report, A.I. and Vanilla Sky. They got me again, mugged at the cinema by the execs themselves.
This post was created by Chelsi and approved by Zach. Was supposed to (and I thought was honestly unless it was deleted) be posted a long time ago! New posts soon!
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